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Thomas Edward Marfing, Jr., M.D.

Date of Death: September 25, 2018
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Terri Phillips
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Annie Nesselrodt,
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Marie Campbell, RN
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Dennis Bluhm
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Rose Holtsclaw
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Ginna McFarling
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Betty Fisher Light a candle
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Location Not Available
Saturday 10/13, 2:00 pm

Memorial Gathering
Museum of the Shenandoah Valley
901 Amherst Street
Winchester, Virginia


Memorial contributions may be made to:

The Thomas E Marfing, Jr, MD
VCU School of Medicine Endowed Scholarship
VCU School of Medicine
1016 East Clay Street
Box 980022
Richmond, VA 23298-0022


The Thomas E. Marfing, Jr, MD Educational Trust
c/o Kevin Callanan
Winchester Medical Center Foundation, Inc
220 Campus Blvd, Suite 402
Winchester, VA 22602

Thomas Edward Marfing, Jr., MD, 64, of Frederick County, VA passed away Tuesday, September 25th, 2018 in the comfort of his home surrounded by his loving family. This marks the end of Dr. Marfing’s six year struggle with Ureteral cancer. Dr. Marfing was born in 1954 in Fort Monroe, VA, the son of the lateContinue Reading

Sean Yakov left a message on December 12, 2022:
I was his patient many years ago. 2008.
Terri Phillips left a message on July 23, 2019:
We served together at Atsugi, Japan. He was an exemplary doctor and a truly nice guy. My heart felt condolences. I smile every time I think of him singing karaoke to Steely Dan! Rest gently my friend.
Paul L. DiLorenzo left a message on October 14, 2018:
Both Mary and I extend our heartfelt condolences to Marie, Nicholas, Spencer, Dallas, Sally, and John. We will always remember Tom’s gracious, caring, and compassionate nature over the years, and how welcome he always made us feel in his presence. It’s what made him such a wonderful person, husband, father, brother and gifted doctor/surgeon. We will keep his memory in our hearts always.
Eric Redmon left a message on October 13, 2018:
Tom was a true friend. When I needed a real doctor to commit to being available to admit my patients from the Surgical-Center (if it was needed), Tom stepped up without hesitation, and continued to be available until I stopped doing surgery there. Tom was simply a nice person. I wish that I had gotten to know Tom better personally, but to meet him once was to know him well. The last time we met was by chance out at dinner one night fairly recently. Tom saw me and made it a point to come over and tell me hello. A class act, Tom Marfing. I had no idea at the time what he was going through, and then truly shocked when I heard of his passing mere weeks later. To Marie and the family, thank you for such a wonderful remembrance today at the MSV. We were all lucky to know Tom.
Amy Eybsen left a message on October 13, 2018:
Frank, Ava and I are sending our prayers today. A great and kind person taken too soon. RIP Uncle Tom.
Peace of mind is a call away. We're here when you need us most.
Alyson Clements left a message on October 13, 2018:
Marie, Nick, Spencer, Dallas, and Sally and John, Our prayers have been with all of you since learning of Tom's passing. Strength and comfort and peace to you as you share memories today of love, family and friendship. Rocky and Alyson Clements
Cindy Lee left a message on October 12, 2018:
As most know, we worked together for 29 years. That, in itself says enough, but a dear friend shared this poem and it is fitting;You can shed tears because they are gone, or smile because they lived. You can close your eyes and pray they come back, or you can open your eyes & see all they left for you. Your heart can be empty because you can't see them, or full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember they are gone, or cherish their memory & let it live on. You can cry & close your mind & feel empty, or you can do what they would want. Smile, Open your heart, Love...and go on. --E. AmmonsI am HONORED to have had such a close relationship with such a TRULY WONDERFUL, GENUINE, WISE man. My life was made truly better by our many chats and his wisdom. I hope he continues to guide me with his soul.
Winston Cameron left a message on October 9, 2018:
Our surgery days coincided so Tom and I spent a lot of time in the locker room and at the scrub sink quietly solving the world's problems. Tom's parting remark would usually be, "Another opportunity to excel, Dr. Cameron." I miss that.
Larry Belote MD left a message on October 8, 2018:
Tom was a classmate at MCV and a destination for any of my patients who wanted to go to WMC for surgery. Having just served 3 years as a line officer in the Navy when I arrived at MCV I knew his quiet calm professional demeanor already in place at MCV was going to be well suited for where he was headed. It was wonderful to discover him in Winchester and to send him patients confident they were in good hands. He always attached a personal note when he reported on a visit. What a great man, doctor, husband and father. He was as rare as his disease! I am glad any suffering he had is over.
Aaron Campbell left a message on October 7, 2018:
I had Dr. Marfing for surgery when I was 16 years old. I remember his quiet, confident demeanor and serious attitude. He was a consummate professional in every way and strived to make his patients as well as could be. My father had procedures done by Dr. Marfing for many years. I took some comfort in knowing who I could go to if I needed a procedure done. I could trust his professionalism, expertise and sincerity without doubting. I was shocked today when my father told me of his passing. I extend my condolences to the family and friends of Dr. Marfing. Rest in peace and thank you for your service to this great country and to our community.
Sandy Renner left a message on October 6, 2018:
To know Tom was to respect him. I honestly cannot remember how many years it’s been since we first met but I’ll never forget him introducing himself. Such an introduction to someone at that time that was his house keeper! Hand outstretched “Hi Sandy, Tom Marfing, a pleasure to meet you.” The years grew.....came and went. I became so attached to this family and a great friendship was formed. His children, so young then, I fell in love with them. It was so easy....Tom and Marie were hands on with Nick, Spencer and Dallas, three educated, stunning, well mannered kids! Tom was so down to earth, always showed a genuine interest in what was happening with me and always had a compliment for me. I am so truly blessed to have known this wonderful and kind man. The best doctor to ever grace Winchester. Truly....God does work in great and mysterious ways. My prayers for Marie, Nick, Spencer and Dallas. Dr. Tom Marfing was the man! To phrase his parting words many times from Instagram......Ciao
Robert Casassa left a message on October 4, 2018:
I have not seen Tom for many years but I remember him fondly from our time together at Mount Vernon High School. There was not a "better person" in our entire graduating class. I remember his sense of humor; warm personality; and his hard work and dedication to whatever task he undertook. Tom always "got the job done." Tom was a "true gentleman" and treated all with kindness and respect and was deservedly liked and respected by all of his classmates. We have all suffered a major loss and the world was a better place for Tom having spent so many years among us. I extend my heartfelt condolences to his family. He will not be forgotten.
Victoria DiLorenzo left a message on October 4, 2018:
As I write...memories of TRUE life LOVE of family come to me. Over the years, Tom and Marie opened their extraordinary home to many many friends and extended family- on each occasion welcoming us with great food, the best wine and of course - real interest in the stories we would share as “Family”. Tom- you will be missed by many!❤️
Nina Di Lorenzo left a message on October 4, 2018:
Our hearts are broken. Uncle Tom left indelible 'fun factor" memories for my children. Thoughts & prayers to you, my dear sister, Nick, Spencer & Dallas.
Alice and John Molini left a message on October 4, 2018:
I knew Dr. Marfing through my sister Cindy Lee . I always respected and admired him for his integrity and ethics. One time I had an accident and he and staff stayed after hours to stitch me up and then he wasn’t going to charge me anything but I insisted on paying my bill in full.Was honored to know him. Prayers and condolences for you and your family as he was and his legacy will always be remembered forever ????????????????????????????????
Linda McNeely left a message on October 3, 2018:
As a nurse I have had the great privilege and pleasure of working with Dr. Marfing for many years in Am Admits caring for his patients pre and postoperatively. He was always kind, professional, caring and meticulous in everything he did. I enjoyed many conversations with him about our children. He loved to talk about his family. When my daughter was younger she would attend events at the Youth Development Center. One night she came home all excited about a new band she saw. She couldn't stop talking about the cute guy in the band named Nick Marfing. Dr. Marfing later confirmed to me that yes, Nick was his son. He was tickled when I told him the story. A few days later while I was at work one of his office staff came by my unit looking for me. She had a CD and Tshirt from the band for my daughter! It really made my daughter's day. This, of course, is just one of several stories I can tell you about Dr. Marfing. I can't even imagine how many wonderful stories are out there but I know it's a lot as he has touched so many lives just at WMC alone. Prayers to the Marfing family in this difficult time.
Joan Lake Merrow left a message on October 3, 2018:
As a classmate, neighbor and friend I will always remember Tommy's gentle spirit and loving nature. He will always be remembered as a person of great character. May the outpouring of love you receive be a reminder of how much he was loved by all who knew him.
John Rice left a message on October 3, 2018:
As youngsters, Tom and I lived in the same subdivision, Riverside Estates, near Mount Vernon and were both 1972 graduates of Mount Vernon High School. I will always remember the warm, loving Marfing home and the series of Chevrolet Corvairs that he and his dad were always restoring. Our lives took us in different directions and we lost touch over time. I remember seeing him at our 40th HS reunion and immediately knew he was still the same great guy that I had known back then. Peace be with you, Tom.
John Marshall left a message on October 3, 2018:
I just read of Tom's passing in the Washington Post and I recognized him immediately by the glasses and the blond hair. Tom was two years ahead of me at Duke. When he was a senior and I was a callow sophomore, I resided in a dorm known as "BOG." Tom had been the President but was then living off campus. Somehow he found out that I was spending Thanksgiving on campus. He invited me to have Thanksgiving dinner with him at his off-campus housing. I don't remember the food being all that good, but I do remember Tom. He was a senior and he was already on to the next thing- medical school. He was solid, serious and thoughtful- unlike most of our compatriots. We had a quiet meal, just the two of us. Nothing remarkable happened, just talk of the future and such. I never saw him again after he graduated, but I thought of him from time to time. He was one of the good ones. I still recall this random act of kindness from that time. I suspect, however, that it was not random for Tom.
Rosemary Swope left a message on October 3, 2018:
Tom was an amazing person--skilled, compassionate surgeon-- family man-- athlete--living his life with courage, strength, and love. He was our neighbor at one time.I have never seen anyone with more energy than he had--his little children got quite a ride sitting in the stroller with their Dad running behind. He left a wonderful legacy and will be greatly missed!
Peace of mind is a call away. We're here when you need us most.
Wayne, Cheryl and Whitney Allyn Smedley left a message on October 3, 2018:
No doctor will ever hold a candle to this man!! Dr Marfing was graceful, kind, gentle, genuine and caring man. Our family has the utmost of respect for Dr Marfing. When he knew of our loss of our oldest daughter he always told us he prays for us daily. One very faithful servant. Prayer to his family not just today or tomorrow however always. Rest In Peace Dr Marfing
Becky Wine RN left a message on October 2, 2018:
My condolences to all the family and friends of Dr. Marfing. He was one of the kindest doctors I had the pleasure to work with.
Kristin and Erich Bruhn left a message on October 2, 2018:
Much comfort and love to Marie and family. Tom was a dedicated doctor who truly enjoyed caring for his patients. His love of family and adventure were obvious in the yearly vacation photos shared at Christmas. Always the most dapper dresser in town, Tom's attention to detail was legendary. He will be greatly missed both personally and professionally. Rest in peace, Tom.
Annie Nesselrodt, left a message on October 2, 2018:
RIP Dr Marfing Heaven Gain is our Loss Prayers for his Family ,
Betty Boyer, RN left a message on October 2, 2018:
Dr. Marfing was a class act. He truly cared about his patients, employees & students. He was always taking the time to teach someone. He will be greatly missed. God Bless. Prayers & comfort to the Marfing Family.
Marie Campbell, RN left a message on October 2, 2018:
Dr. Marfing was a wonderful doctor, very caring about his patients. He never failed to call and check on them. He will be greatly missed by everyone that knew him. May our Lord give you peace during this trying time.
Scott T Hartley SR left a message on October 2, 2018:
Sorry for your lost! Sending prayers to family!
Debra Miles left a message on October 1, 2018:
Dr. Marfing was one of the first surgeons I worked with at WMC after moving from a hospital in Massachusetts. I remember him asking what my position was on the "War of Northern Aggression." Welcome to Virginia! I worked with him as a nurse on the floor and also in the OR for a time and I have always found him to be kind to patients and staff, alike. Nothing can ease the pain of such a loss, but I hope that the universal regard with which he was held provides some comfort. Prayers for comfort to the family that is missing his daily presence.
Tracy Turner left a message on October 1, 2018:
I worked with Dr Marfing in the Endoscopy Center for many years. I will miss seeing him in the hall. Dr Marfing always put his patient first. He liked to teach...always asking his students questions that challenged them and if they did not know the answer....he would tell them to look it up and get back with him on it. I am so glad that in the past few weeks I was fortunate enough to run into him after his Dr appt. I sat and talked with him while he waited for Marie to come with the car. He will be missed. Prayers to all and may the memories you have help sustain you in the months to come. Tracy
Sherry Triggs left a message on October 1, 2018:
I have known and worked with Dr. Marfing since he started at WMC and have always enjoyed my time working with him. He was a kind and caring man as well as a wonderful surgeon. He loved to teach and was always so patient with everyone when they were learning. I will miss our talks in the OR and have many fond memories of him. I pray you take comfort in a lifetime of memories with him. You are in my prayers. God Bless.
Robin Frank left a message on September 30, 2018:
Dr. Marfing was a special person and surgeon. He was always kind and always willing to share his time with patients, families, and staff. My condolences to his family, friends and do workers! God Bless.
Judy Crim left a message on September 29, 2018:
I worked for Dr M for 17 years. He always put his patients first. His attention to detail was unparalled,and he made sure he took enough time with each patient. He was a boss, but also a friend who taught me a lot. His legacy will the lives he touched. He will be greatly missed. My deepest sympathy to Marie and the children.
LA left a message on September 29, 2018:
Dear Family and Friends,I am so sorry that you have suffered this loss. May it comfort you to know that the Bible promises that the time will come when all those in God’s memory will be brought back to life to live on a beautified earth, where people will not ever get sick, grow old, or die. ( John 5:28,29; 1 Corinthians 15:26; Revelation 21:3,4; Psalm 37:11,29)
Bob Sigl left a message on September 28, 2018:
What a wonderful man, Doctor and neighbor.You will be missed.
Barbara Hisghman left a message on September 28, 2018:
Dr.marfing did my hernia surgery as well as my husband had a hard time with mine had more then one he was a great man he checked on me day and night he was very compassionate he will be missed prayers for his family
Dennis Bluhm left a message on September 28, 2018:
Dr. Marfing did my colon cancer surgery in 2006. He also did several surgeries for my wife and son. He was always "blunt" with you but compassionate. He was a friend. He came to my son's memorial service and talked a lot about it to me. I will really miss him. He was a great surgeon and an even better person. Prayers for his family
Jenny Adkins left a message on September 28, 2018:
Dr Marfing was my surgical preceptor in PA school. He was an excellent teacher and mentor. So much more than clinical knowledge was gained in my time training with him. I appreciate his dedication to teaching. I still use some of his “sayings” with my patients today. I’m forever grateful and my thoughts and prayers are with his family.
Lindy Hild left a message on September 28, 2018:
Dr Marfing wss always exacting, professional and compassionate. But he would surprise me with a funny, unexpected remark and everyone in the room would laugh. I learned to be a better assistant helping him, and he was an inspired teacher. I miss our Mondays together, and I pray his spirit will ontinue to guide us ad we care for patients.
Sallie Cupp left a message on September 27, 2018:
I always enjoyed working with Dr. Marfing. He was always professional and really cared about his patients.
Rose Holtsclaw left a message on September 27, 2018:
Dr.Marfing will be greatly missed, he would stop by Spd dept at Scw& thank the processing techs how he appreciated the nice work we did on the instrument and the scopes,we all enjoyed his visits & talking with him, prayers for his family and friends.
Peace of mind is a call away. We're here when you need us most.
Dr. Chris Loughlin left a message on September 27, 2018:
My favorite general surgeon of all time, and a good friend and colleague. I wish Marie and the children all the best in this time of mourning.
John and Judy Laub left a message on September 27, 2018:
Marie and the kids have our heart-felt sympathy and love. Tom was a brilliant doctor and a wonderful individual who will be greatly missed.
Ginna McFarling left a message on September 27, 2018:
I met Tommy over 50 years ago and only stayed in touch through reunions but my memories are of a man of character and authentic concern for others. Many lives were touched for the better. I know he will be missed greatly. Sending prayers you his family.$
Betty Fisher left a message on September 27, 2018:
To the family and other loved ones of Tom Marfing I can't imagine your pain. He was one of the kindest people with whom I ever worked. For years after I no longer worked in surgery, Marfing and I always stopped for a hug and a chat to catch up. Prayers for all of you. He will be greatly missed by many.
Betty Fisher left a message on September 27, 2018:
I worked in surgery for 28 years. I worked with many people. Tom Marfing was one of the most kind people with whom I worked.
Omps Funeral Home left a message:
Please accept our deepest condolences for your family's loss.
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